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[31 Oct 2009|02:31am]
In every secret mission there's a cyanide pill, leaving Rochester at the drop of a hat is my safer version of cyanide. Get me out of here or I'm taking real cyanide.
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[03 May 2009|11:38pm]








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[04 Mar 2009|04:05pm]
I suddenly left Berlin when I woke up with a sinus infection. Well, not that suddenly. I mean, I was supposed to leave about a week ago. But it felt sudden. For the second time, I cried over leaving a city (the first time that happened was when I left London last year). The flight and the airport were both pure hell.

I got fined £75 for carrying too much luggage, and that was after throwing out a bunch of stuff and wearing 5 outfits at the same time. That confused the hell out of me because in London I had the same ammount of shit in my bag and didn't get fined. I had this big pile of crap, but since the German airport guys lived up to their reputation as anal retentive douche bags, they made me throw everything in the garbage, not leave it on the floor for someone else to pick up. Because I was angry at Stuart, one of the things I threw away was the chibi toy I made of him >_< It was really awful, because I thought I'd feel better getting rid of it, but instead started bawling in the fucking airport about it, more from what the gesture of throwing that in the garbage meant than over the toy itself. Things like that tend to take on a life of their own I guess. I can always make another one if we get back together, but we're not going to.

As if dealing with emotional shit again wasn't bad enough, I soon discovered that flying with a sinus infection is pure agony. Imagine the sensation of half your face swelling up, not being able to breathe, feeling even more suffocated by the cramped space of a shitty Ryanair flight, going temporarily deaf from the change in pressure, and then for 2 hours feeling like your head has been filled up with pins that are stabbing you from under your skin. That was the flight back to London.
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[07 Sep 2008|08:20pm]
I'm having the worst case of reverse culture shock combined with PMS and insomnia >_< No exaggeration here... I haven't slept well since reaching Canada. I mean the first 2 or 3 nights were the worst, but I'm still only sleeping 2-4 hours at a stretch without waking up. Even after I've been working my ass off and I feel exhausted. No explanation for this.

Also, I think Stuart and I used to spend a lot more time talking. Is it just my imagination? I'm certain that we used to talk for 4-5 hours some times, which was ridiculously over the top, but... now I'm lucky if I get half an hour to talk. It's weird. It's making it much worse to adjust.
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[09 Dec 2007|01:36am]
Ok, totally random, has nothing to do with anything else.... why did I not know sooner that Square is making a new version of Final Fantasy IV?! The videos kick ass; they're like Amano's drawings, but brought to life. There's very few games I go nuts over, but Final Fantasy IV was the first Final Fantasy game that I really loved XD I used to draw all the characters back in 7th grade, and of course they looked like crap, but it was fun. In fact, I still have a bunch of them. lol. And I used to write fan fiction too XD I think I might have recently thrown out an unfinished fan fic that I decided I wasn't going to go back to. Damn, that was harsh how I threw out so much stuff. Oh well. Better than people reading what I actually wrote in the late 90s. ahh, that was a fun game though, wouldn't mind at all seeing it in new graphics... if I had a Nintendo DS... and the time to play... and if I weren't going to try to live on 50 pounds a week for the next year or so. Is it even possible to live on 50 pounds a week?! Guess I'll find out soon enough *shrug*. Anyways, this is mainly fun for that nerdy little side that wants to draw Final Fantasy IV characters... wait, I had Final Fantasy IV pictures on my wall until a few weeks ago. Note to self: make new Final Fantasy IV pictures for new room.
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[07 Dec 2007|03:16pm]
Yay, I've got a webpage! It's crappy because I slacked off and mostly just wanted to get it done on time for class. But anyways, go to it and look at my pretty pictures.


Also, mac computers suck. I like to be able to left click and right click. The mouse on this computer makes me think of cyclopses *shudder* It's just wrong.
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[31 Oct 2007|03:09pm]
Only 46 more days until I go to Scotland again! *victory dance* too bad it's getting confusing trying to book my flight >_< Also, when I do that I might go two days earlier when the ticket's only $99.... if I have no exams on the 15th that would be awesome. lol. An extra couple of days with Stuart AND another price reduction! lol. My parents will have to move my stuff out for me I guess....

But in any case, I need to get to Wal-Mart and get a sleazy wig and fake eyelashes. I'm not doing anything tonight, but I'm going to Murray's party on Saturday and I'm going to be a drag queen. Last Saturday I was a flapper. I figure why wear one costume this year, I have to leave my costumes behind for several months and this is my last chance to have fun with them for a while. Besides, in 2002 I fought against fundies for my right to celebrate Halloween. Not going to give it up now.

Alright then. I'm off to Wal-Mart to dress like a drag queen. I need supplies for my next diorama, too. It's going to be pretty elaborate with all the eye stuff.... now's a perfect time to stock up on eyeballs probably.

I know. That's so wrong.
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[09 Oct 2007|08:40pm]
O_O That was the longest photo shoot of my life. Ok, two hours were for class and maybe a couple others were actually socializing... but I went from 1:00 pm to 7:00 pm O_O Just taking photos of dresses and accessories.

Here's some of the photos:

Cut for people who don't care/have a shitty computer... But look at all the dresses!Collapse )

There you have it, five years of highlights from what I've sewn. That took 7 hours.

You don't want to know how long it takes to lace that many corsets and old dresses.
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[03 Oct 2007|05:20pm]
OMG I'm accepted!!!!!!!!

obnoxiously sized lettering aside....

I've been accepted into the program in London!  *dances around*  Here I was ready to drop out and call it quits, and it turns out I'M IN!!!!!!  WOOT!!!!!!!!!  *turns house into a pub and invites everyone in for a drink to celebrate*  Alright!  Forget what I said about being a shit hole, Brockport is now my ticket into my new life in Britain :D  Hehehe now I just need to decide between the three different colleges that have classes I'm interested in ^_^  *victory dance*

Take THAT America!
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[03 Oct 2007|11:49am]
Alright, quick announcement...

Free custom-made clothing and free alcohol for ANYONE who will help me clean up!

Murray sort of put things in perspective as far as moving out of here.  SO...  no fucking way am I going to do this without help.  The way this works is that every hour you spend helping me clean up is a free hour of custom-sewing by me.  The clothing is up to you.  Could be an alteration, could be a full garment.  If it's complicated, that's a lot of cleaning to do.  The time you spend modeling doesn't count as time for either of us.  So say you want a purse or something.... help me out for a few hours and I'll make it for you.  Doesn't seem like this would save me time since I'd have to sew, but it worked last summer.

As an extra bonus, free alcohol when you're done cleaning.  Can anyone argue with having free custom sewing and free alcohol?  No, I didn't think so.
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[02 Oct 2007|08:45am]
This is such an awesome story: http://www.projo.com/news/content/Mall_Dwellers_10-02-07_1F7B9KA.34baf91.html

A bunch of artists with a secret apartment in a mall :D lol that rocks. I also like the whole webpage analyzing malls.

It reminds me of the kind of shit my characters used to do when I was writing "In the Year 2600" XD Shut up, it's ok to miss my characters even a year later.

In fact, no reason why some of my new characters can't do this. I can see Rhett from "The Big Impact" pulling this stunt :D

But the coolest part of this in my opinion is the artist's webpage analyzing the mall. I LOVE this kind of thing. LOL it's not even "real" art as far as technical skill... well I guess the apartment took some kind of skill.... I just like the commentary on society. Plus only a bunch of artists would actually do something that crazy.
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[11 Sep 2007|10:34am]
And.... things go from bad to worse. Now Murray's sick and wants to sleep at my apartment between classes. Here's the first three thoughts I had:
1) Fuck. Now it's time to clean. Pass the Tab soda.
2) Fuck. Now I'll have a virus too. As if I need help getting sick!
3) ...If he's sick, why the hell isn't he staying home?!

Ugh. My mom insists that it's because they don't open the windows in the classrooms at Brockport and my response was, "We have windows?! Could have fooled me! This is an architectural nightmare! God damn Soviet bloc looking buildings..."

I wish I were in Hawaii :( It might be a lot hotter there, but with all the open air buildings it seems like people would get sick a lot less. How can anyone feel like crap when they're lying on a sunny beach looking out over the Pacific Ocean? No wonder Toby feels horny there, it's a gorgeous place! I'd much rather deal with dry heat and constant breeze than with depressing upstate NY surroundings.

I look at my word count and I think, "This would not be the case if I were in Scotland or Hawaii. Oh well, time for another word war anyways!"
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[02 Sep 2007|10:04am]
Word count: 5,262

Anyone who thinks November is the month to do this is wrong. I've NEVER done this well in November :D

I think Stuart is doing a lot to motivate me though. Last night when we compared wordcounts, his was higher and that shocked me since I've always been the faster writer. However, he is five hours ahead and has people to help him with crap that wastes my time. That makes a huge difference. Anyways, his word count motivated me to get drunk and write faster. I like my characters quite a lot, although I'm having the same problem I've had for the past year: it's hard for me to work with new characters without feeling weird, like I don't know them yet. Then I have to remind myself that they can only be like the characters in 2600 if I give them time. In time, I can get just as attached to the characters in "The Big Impact" and in this book, which needs a title. So far I've got:

Balzar-- the narrator who never takes off his hose. He's also obviously gay even though he's married, and thinks impure thoughts about public floggings and the "vampire" who's always getting flogged...

Otto-- Balzar's co-star in "Snails: The Musical". Obsessed with home improvement projects. So far he's ripped the roof off his house and put a catapult on the top floor in order to dispose of rubbish and unwanted guests. He also invented a security system for protecting the house against unwanted jesters, because "jesters are scary". He's a bachelor who has sex with his co-star Helga, who looks suspiciously like him. He's also gotten drunk and naked already.

The Vampire-- the other characters don't know him personally, but he's always at the recieving end of unintentionally erotic punishments in their small, backwards medieval town. He's also not a vampire, but he gets accused of being one.

There's more too, but these are the funniest ones so far. I need to do their character sketches :D
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[27 Aug 2007|10:09am]
I'm such a nerd... I want to make a Zelda cosplay like right now but I don't even have any conventions coming up. LOL. This is what happens when I spend 5 hours straight playing a game. I want to borrow a gamecube for a while too. Hahaha this is not good; I'm already addicted to Twilight Princess. this is precisely why I avoid buying video games in order to get anything done. But anyways, that would be awesome to put that new sewing machine to use :D I wish Toby were here so we could go fabric shopping... I know that sounds lame, but fabric shopping is so damn much fun if it's with Toby. A lot more fun than it should be, probably. We can spend hours in the fabric store squealing like a couple of blonde bimbos about the quality of the fabric and "OMG you know what I could make with this?"

I need to look up a schedule of conventions in the UK :D Apparently Pennsic wasn't enough for me to get the costume thing out of my system. Nope. I know, I need to hook up that webcam and have Stuart dress up for me!

I'm such a perv >_>
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[27 Aug 2007|07:24am]
What a crappy first day. Already I'm fucking exhausted and need caffeine... stupid period. I'm going to sleep immediately after class...
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[25 Aug 2007|08:14am]
the new computer isn't coming next weekend... it's coming tomorrow! :D *happy dance* If you're wondering about the e's right now though, I'm in Rochester at the moment, hiding out in the basement because it's so damn hot upstairs. I was going to put ringlets in my hair, but screw it. The LAST thing I want to do in this weather in an un-air conditioned house is stand around with a hot curling iron. :( It would have looked cute with my "Alice" dress though. Heh. I'm wearing a cosplay dress to a family party... but without the pinafore and lolita headdress it doesn't look like a cosplay, it just looks like a plaid dress with a very fluffy skirt.

Anywhoo, I got to play Twilight Princess last night ^_^ I'm already addicted and want to steal Jonathan's gamecube for a while. That game is so fun, it's like everything I love about Zelda games already but with much more compexity. Of course I rarely have time for games, so the last Zelda game I actually finished was Ocarina of Time (I know, what kind of fan am I?!) Jumping straight into Twilight Princess without seeing the actual evolution of recent games probably makes it more impressive, as does comparing it to the Zelda cartoons. LOL. All I can say is that Nintendo has come a long, long way both stylistically and narratively from the time when Link was always saying "excuuuuse me, princess!" In any case, excellent game. I'm going to play more of it right now instead of going upstairs and doing my hair :D
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[23 Aug 2007|09:23pm]
Oh, I do hav3 a pi3c3 of good n3ws about b3ing back: I pick3d up a copy of "No plot, No Probl3m" and talk3d Stuart into doing nanowrimo with m3 ^_^ That will k33p m3 busy if oth3r things don't! I don't know about waiting until Nov3mb3r this y3ar though, b3caus3 that's always th3 busi3st month for m3 and I'm inspir3d now, not two months from now. Mayb3 I can talk Stuart into making S3pt3mb3r our nanowrimo so that I hav3 som3thing to distract m3 from r3ality? That might not b3 a bad id3a...
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[21 Jul 2007|03:49pm]
Hahaha I just dr3am3d about b3ing at P3nnsic. It was pr3tty accurat3 for a dr3am, too. I think th3 only r3al diff3r3nc3 is that th3r3 w3r3 mor3 woods, including on th3 ar3a that has almost no tr33s in r3al lif3 though. Hmmm, pr3tty good diff3r3nc3 if you ask m3. Mak3s m3 wish I w3r3 camping in "th3 bog".
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[15 Jul 2007|03:23pm]
I'm so t3mpt3d right now to conpl3t3ly chang3 my plans, not go to th3 god damn w3dding and go straight to Boston. Th3 main r3ason for this is that today I can't stop thinking about all th3 r3asons why I d3spis3 both my imm3diat3 and 3xt3nd3d family. Mainly it's b3caus3 of th3 way th3y'r3 so judg3m3ntal. Wh3n p3opl3 ask how I'm doing/what I'v3 don3 r3c3ntly, I want to b3 HON3ST. If I f33l lik3 shit, I don't want to say I'm "fin3" unl3ss it's a compl3t3 strang3r at th3 cash r3gist3r of a stor3 asking m3 that. If I'v3 just flown in from Scotland, I don't want to say I hav3n't don3 anything. On top of that, I 3xp3ct oth3rs to do th3 sam3-- no bullshit about how lif3 is p3rf3ct, b3caus3 3v3ryon3 who's mor3 than a f3w y3ars old should know damn w3ll it isn't. Unl3ss th3y'r3 on som3 kind of magical happy dust drugs, in which cas3 that p3rf3ctn3ss is an illusion anyways. Wh3n r3lativ3s ask how I sp3nt my summ3r, I don't WANT to say "nothing" just b3caus3 I don't hav3 a st3ady job and an Am3rican boyfri3nd. Fuck having a local boyfri3nd, Scottish acc3nts ar3 s3xy! B3sid3s, 3v3ryon3 knows I'v3 had a thing for for3ign guys sinc3 high school. Or th3y SHOULD know by now. No on3 in th3 family knows a damn thing about m3!

So that's what piss3s m3 off about family parti3s and small talk: th3 lack of hon3sty. 3v3ryon3 knows that p3opl3 ar3 just bragging about th3ms3lv3s to mak3 3v3ryon3 3ls3 j3alous, that's som3 r3al 3motional intimacy right th3r3. If it w3r3 a party put on by p3opl3 I wasn't r3lat3d to, I wouldn't put up with that kind of shitty dynamic, so why put up with that from r3lativ3s? It's phony, stupid, and do3s nothing for anyon3's social or 3motional w3ll-b3ing, nor is it fun 3nough to b3 worth th3 3ffort.

Also, r3ally fucking tir3d of my mom complaining that I'm not ind3p3nd3nt 3nough and th3n babying m3. Mayb3 if I'd had som3 fucking room to grow as a t33nag3r I wouldn't b3 acting lik3 a t33nag3r now! For that matt3r, mayb3 if I had mor3 fucking spac3 now. It's lik3 th3 opposit3 of th3 r3st of th3 family: with 3v3ryon3 3ls3 th3r3's no intimacy, but sh3 tri3s to g3t so clos3 I can't fucking br3ath3!

As a sid3 not3, I'm sur3 that 3v3ryon3 who's had a normal lif3 so far do3sn't mind small talk. W3ll th3n why not l3av3 th3 small talk to th3 p3opl3 with normal liv3s? That way, 3v3ryon3's happy: thos3 who ar3 normal, lacking in 3motional ups and downs and not doing anything shocking can continu3 to ignor3 th3 probl3ms of th3 world and p3opl3 with 3motional, fuck3d up liv3s don't n33d to li3. It's a win-win situation.

S33, wh3n I go to parti3s that fri3nds put on, this isn't an issu3. Th3n it's just a matt3r of finding an outfit and going. No str3ss, no bullshit, no gossip.

Of cours3 if I don't go, 3v3ryon3 will wond3r why th3 fuck I'm not th3r3. Mayb3 b3caus3 I'd rath3r just hang out with th3 fri3nds I still hav3n't had a chanc3 to s33 this summ3r?

I was suppos3d to hang out with Molly, Kim and Toby and still hav3n't don3 it >_< I should r3ally mak3 tim3 for th3m b3for3 th3 trip. Mayb3 that will tak3 my mind off of all th3 asshol3s I don't want to d3al with. I don't car3 how 3xp3nsiv3 th3 dinn3r is at that w3dding, a dinn3r is only as 3njoyabl3 as th3 p3opl3 it's shar3d with.

M3h. I'll just g3t drunk th3r3. Th3n if I say anything too hon3st, I can blam3 th3 alcohol. Might mak3 things wors3 if I'm alr3ady piss3d off wh3n I start drinking though... Just thinking about this w3dding mak3s m3 want to drink, and mayb3 hav3 a cigar3tt3 too...
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[13 Jul 2007|11:44am]
O_O Only two w33ks to go until th3 w3dding, a road trip, P3nnsic, and anoth3r road trip! So much pr3paration to do!

I had a Futurama marathon with a bunch of DVDs so I'd b3 watching/list3ning to som3thing, but that do3sn't chang3 how tim3-consuming p3rf3ctionism is. I blam3 my p3rf3ctionism 3ntir3ly on Stuart's body: th3r3's som3thing wrong with hiding a p3rf3ct body und3r thos3 shap3l3ss, r3ady-to-w3ar things th3y call "m3n's clothing". So I couldn't just b3 satisfi3d with making cloth3s that fit his m3asur3m3nts... no, I hav3 to go to crazy 3xtr3m3s. First it was making a doubl3t with boning on th3 sid3s and in front, gromm3ts to lac3 it tog3th3r, and a lining so w3ll don3 th3 3ntir3 thing can b3 worn insid3-out. Th3n of cours3 I couldn't skimp on th3 br33ch3s. Couldn't just b3 a normal p3rson and figur3, "drawstrings ar3 quick and 3asy and w3r3 availabl3 in th3 R3naissanc3." No, I hav3 to b3 a p3rf3ctionist and think, "Th3r3's nothing lik3 th3 f33l of a solid int3rfac3d waistband with th3 littl3 ribbon insid3 to finish it off, and no on3 knows about th3 ribbon 3xc3pt th3 p3rson w3aring th3 skirt/pants, but som3how that mak3s it 3v3n b3tt3r b3caus3 th3n th3 outfit isn't about showing off, it's about quality for th3 sak3 of quality and a littl3 3xtra 3mb3llishm3nt whil3 undr3ssing..."

This is 3xactly how crazy p3rf3ctionists think. Not "P3nnsic is only a w33k long", not "I only hav3 two w33ks to mak3 this stuff," but "I lik3 th3 3xtra 3mb3llishm3nt whil3 undr3ssing!"

So basically I'm going to 3nd up making two stunningly b3autiful, w3ll-mad3 outfits for Stuart inst3ad of taking th3 normal approach to P3nnsic (which is making as many basic tunics as possibl3). How3v3r, th3 fact that "b3autiful" can actually b3 us3d in th3 cont3xt of m3n's clothing in this situation says a lot. In th3 cont3xt of most m3n's clothing on a day-to-day basis I would not us3 that adj3ctiv3 XD

As far as oth3r stuff going on... my mom is b3ing a drag about th3 w3dding, ranting about how it's a church w3dding and not a cool fun w3dding lik3 oth3r on3s I'v3 b33n to and how it's not suppos3d to b3 "fun". For som3 r3ason that both3rs m3, which is odd b3caus3 I hav3 no troubl3 going to a standard fun3ral that's not int3nd3d to b3 fun. Th3n again, at a fun3ral I actually hav3 a purpos3 in b3ing th3r3, plus 3v3ry fun3ral I'v3 b33n to was on th3 w3st coast, which m3ant b3ing th3r3 for th3 family m3mb3rs I actually lik3. Also, I can und3rstand a fun3ral b3ing sombr3 out of r3sp3ct for th3 d3ad. But why act so grav3 and d3adly about a w3dding? Shouldn't a w3dding b3 happy, lik3 a c3l3bration of two p3opl3 finding lov3? Not lik3 a mournful c3r3mony of two idiots making th3 bigg3st mistak3 of th3ir liv3s?

S33, th3 last w3dding I w3nt to was cool. Th3y had a sort of Pagan c3r3mony that was still ambiguous 3nough to not off3nd p3opl3 of mor3 traditional p3rsuasions. Th3n th3r3 w3r3 two r3c3ptions: on3 in th3 aft3rnoon with activiti3s lik3 f3ncing and arch3ry, and anoth3r on3 aft3r th3 f3ast with all th3 dancing. That's just too aw3som3 to try out arch3ry at som3on3's w3dding :D Sorry, but no hoity-toity, "I'm sp3nding $75 a plat3!" mod3rn w3dding is going to top that on3 in cr3ativity and just having a good tim3.

And don't 3v3n g3t m3 start3d on w3dding r3gistri3s... 3v3ry damn p3rson in my family always r3gist3rs for th3 most 3xp3nsiv3 but l3ast d3corativ3 things possibl3. I can s33 how whit3 dish3s ar3 basic and go with 3v3rything, but as an artist, this just piss3s m3 off. Th3r3's so many good d3sign3rs out th3r3, so many b3autiful s3ts of dish3s... for gods sak3, th3y display r3ally nic3 old on3s in mus3ums, that should say 3nough on that topic... and 3v3ry idiot in my family who g3ts marri3d go3s for plain whit3?! Can't som3on3 b3 original and go for a patt3rn? Why plain whit3 B3d Bath and B3yond whit3 dish3s, why not Spod3 china? Y3ah, it'll b3 r3al fun d3corating th3ir hous3. I'll b3t th3y won't 3v3n hav3 pictur3s on th3 walls or a book cas3 with r3ading mat3rial. Lik3 I want to shop for p3opl3 with no tast3. *rolls 3y3s*

So ov3r all, 3v3ryon3 is b3ing a pain in th3 ass ov3r this w3dding, and I don't lik3 Don's girlfri3nd all that much anyways. Sh3's such a drag >_< That w3dding r3gistry is only th3 v3ry b3ginning of h3r profound blandn3ss and tast3l3ssn3ss. B3tt3r bad tast3 than no tast3 in my opinion! At l3ast bad tast3 is amusing.

I don't r3aly giv3 a crap about this w3dding b3sid3s th3 fact that it piss3s m3 off on so many l3v3ls. Ov3r all, I vi3w it as a quick pit stop on th3 way to Boston. Th3n th3 fun b3gins :D

Oh god I wish I could hav3 chibi Anna mak3 this rant out loud XD I think Stuart and I hav3 a bit too much fun with th3 plushi3s of ours3lv3s... Th3 original purpos3 was to hav3 som3thing to cuddl3 wh3n w3'r3 not tog3th3r, but th3n th3 plushi3s got tog3th3r and caus3d troubl3...

Chibi Anna: "Too bad Mr and Mrs No Tast3 can't us3 th3ir w3dding budg3t to buy a coupl3 of p3rsonaliti3s!"

Chibi Stuart: "W3ll, now I know what to g3t th3m!"
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